The email arrived three years after the wedding you weren't invited to. Your sister—the one who promised to always be there—had cut you out of her life over a misunderstanding she refused to discuss. Now she wanted to "reconnect" as if nothing happened. The familiar ache in your chest returned, that mixture of hurt, anger, and exhaustion from carrying this wound for so long.
Perhaps your story is different. Maybe it's a parent who wasn't there when you desperately needed them, a spouse who shattered your trust, a friend who betrayed your confidence, or a church leader who wounded you spiritually. Whatever the hurt, you've probably heard the Christian response: "You need to forgive them." And you've probably felt that tight knot in your stomach that says, "I don't know if I can."
Here's the truth that many well-meaning Christians forget to mention: biblical forgiveness is one of the hardest things God asks us to do. It goes against every natural instinct for justice, every desire to protect ourselves from further harm, every need to see the person who hurt us acknowledge what they did. Yet Scripture is unambiguous—God calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven. This article explores what that actually means, why it's so difficult, and how to walk this painful but ultimately liberating path. If you're struggling to forgive someone who deeply hurt you, you're not alone, and there is hope for freedom.
What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness?
Before we can understand how to forgive from a Christian perspective, we need to grasp the theological foundation that makes forgiveness both possible and necessary. Biblical forgiveness isn't primarily about feelings or relationships—it's about imitating the character of God and responding to the extraordinary grace we've received through Christ.
God's Forgiveness: The Foundation for Ours
The entire biblical narrative centers on God's willingness to forgive humanity despite our rebellion against Him. This isn't a minor theme tucked away in a few verses—it's the heartbeat of the Gospel. The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Notice the standard: "as God in Christ forgave you."
What does that forgiveness look like? It's complete, costly, and undeserved. Romans 5:8 tells us, "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God didn't wait for us to apologize, clean ourselves up, or prove we deserved forgiveness. He offered it while we were actively in rebellion against Him. The cross demonstrates that forgiveness always costs the forgiver something—in this case, everything.
Colossians 2:13-14 describes the extent of this forgiveness: "And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross." God didn't just overlook our sins or minimize them—He dealt with them completely through Christ's sacrifice, canceling the entire debt we owed.
Christ's Example: Forgiveness in Its Purest Form
The most powerful example of biblical forgiveness comes from Jesus Himself in the midst of the most unjust suffering imaginable. As Roman soldiers drove nails through His hands and feet, as religious leaders who should have recognized Him as Messiah mocked Him, as the crowd He came to save shouted insults, Jesus prayed: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).
Consider what this means. Jesus wasn't forgiving a minor slight or an accidental offense. He was forgiving people actively murdering Him in the most brutal way possible. He was forgiving religious hypocrites, cowardly political leaders, and a bloodthirsty crowd. And He did it before they asked, before they showed remorse, before they even understood what they were doing.
This is the standard Jesus sets for His followers. In Matthew 5:43-45, He says, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven." Loving and praying for those who hurt us isn't natural—it's supernatural, made possible only through God's Spirit working in us.
The Non-Negotiable Call to Forgive
Scripture doesn't present forgiveness as a spiritual suggestion for the especially mature Christian. It's a command for all believers, and Jesus makes clear there are serious spiritual consequences for refusing to forgive. In Matthew 6:14-15, immediately after teaching the Lord's Prayer, Jesus says: "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
This is sobering. Jesus isn't saying we earn God's forgiveness by forgiving others—salvation is by grace alone through faith alone. Rather, He's saying that truly grasping the magnitude of our own forgiveness will inevitably lead us to forgive others. If we refuse to forgive, it reveals we haven't fully understood or accepted the forgiveness God has given us.
Jesus illustrates this principle powerfully in the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35. A servant owed his master an impossible debt—ten thousand talents, roughly equivalent to millions of dollars today. The master, moved with compassion, forgave the entire debt. But that same servant then went out and found a fellow servant who owed him a tiny amount—a hundred denarii, perhaps a few months' wages. When this man couldn't pay immediately, the forgiven servant had him thrown in prison.
When the master heard about this, he was furious: "You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?" (Matthew 18:32-33). The parable ends with the master delivering the unforgiving servant to the jailers until he could pay his entire debt—which of course he could never do.
Jesus concludes: "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35). The phrase "from your heart" is crucial. God isn't interested in grudging, surface-level forgiveness. He calls us to heart-level release of those who've wounded us, no matter how deep the wound.
Why Forgiveness is So Hard
Understanding what the Bible says about forgiveness is one thing. Actually doing it is another. If you're struggling to forgive, it's important to acknowledge why this is so difficult. Pretending forgiveness should be easy or shaming yourself for finding it hard doesn't help—it just adds guilt to your pain.
The Reality and Depth of Our Pain
First, forgiveness is hard because the wounds we carry are real, often deep, and sometimes ongoing. The person who hurt you may have stolen years of your life, shattered your sense of safety, damaged your reputation, broken sacred vows, or caused suffering to people you love. The pain isn't imaginary or exaggerated—it's a legitimate response to real harm.
The Psalms give us permission to bring this pain honestly before God. David writes in Psalm 55:12-14, "For it is not an enemy who taunts me—then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to take sweet counsel together; within God's house we walked in the fellowship." Betrayal by those closest to us cuts deepest, and Scripture acknowledges this.
Our Natural Hunger for Justice
Second, forgiveness is hard because we have a God-given sense of justice. When someone wrongs us, something in us cries out that this isn't right, that there should be consequences, that the wrongdoer should acknowledge what they did and face appropriate accountability. This isn't sinful—it's how we're created to respond to injustice.
The problem comes when we confuse forgiveness with dismissing justice. Many people resist forgiveness because they believe it means letting the offender "get away with it" or pretending the wrong never happened. This misunderstanding makes forgiveness feel like betraying ourselves and abandoning any hope of justice.
The Fear of Being Hurt Again
Third, forgiveness is hard because unforgiveness serves as emotional armor. As long as we hold onto our anger and hurt, we feel protected from the person who wounded us. Forgiveness feels like making ourselves vulnerable again to someone who has already proven they can hurt us. It feels foolish, even dangerous.
This is especially true when the person who hurt us hasn't changed, hasn't apologized, or continues to cause harm. How can we forgive someone who keeps wounding us? How can we release our right to justice when the person shows no remorse?
The Identity We Build Around Our Pain
Finally, forgiveness is hard because sometimes our pain becomes part of our identity. When we've been deeply wounded, especially over a long period, the hurt can become woven into how we see ourselves and our story. Letting go of the offense can feel like losing part of ourselves or dishonoring the suffering we endured. We may even receive validation and sympathy from others for our victimhood, making it costly in unexpected ways to release the offense.
The Difference Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation
One of the most important distinctions for understanding biblical forgiveness is recognizing that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Confusing these two concepts causes enormous confusion and can even lead people into dangerous situations.
Forgiveness: A Unilateral Decision
Forgiveness is something you do in your own heart, whether or not the other person ever apologizes, changes, or even acknowledges what they did. It's a decision to release your right to vengeance, to stop rehashing the offense, and to entrust justice to God. Romans 12:19 tells us, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'"
You can forgive someone who never asks for forgiveness, who never admits wrongdoing, who has died, or who continues to hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't require their participation—it's a work God does in your heart to free you from the poison of bitterness and the exhausting work of keeping score.
Reconciliation: A Two-Way Process
Reconciliation, on the other hand, requires both parties. It involves rebuilding trust, restoring relationship, and moving forward together. Reconciliation is beautiful and should be pursued when possible, but it's not always possible or wise.
Romans 12:18 acknowledges this reality: "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." Notice the qualifications—"if possible" and "so far as it depends on you." Paul recognizes that sometimes reconciliation isn't possible because the other person refuses, or because the relationship was so toxic that rebuilding it would be harmful.
When Reconciliation Isn't Safe or Healthy
In cases of abuse—whether physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual—forgiveness never means putting yourself back in harm's way. You can forgive an abusive parent while maintaining appropriate boundaries. You can forgive an unfaithful spouse while recognizing that rebuilding trust requires genuine repentance and changed behavior over time. You can forgive a manipulative friend while choosing not to re-engage in a toxic relationship.
Proverbs 4:23 instructs, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." Part of stewarding your heart well is protecting it from ongoing harm. Forgiveness frees your heart from bitterness; boundaries protect your heart from further damage. You need both.
Trust, unlike forgiveness, must be earned and rebuilt over time through demonstrated change. Forgiveness can be immediate; trust is rebuilt gradually through consistent, trustworthy behavior. Confusing the two leads either to enabling continued bad behavior or to the false belief that you haven't truly forgiven if you don't immediately trust again.
Biblical Steps to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You
Understanding forgiveness theologically is crucial, but at some point you need practical steps for the actual work of forgiving. Here are eight biblical principles for walking the difficult path of forgiveness.
1. Acknowledge the Full Extent of Your Pain
Forgiveness doesn't begin by minimizing what happened or pretending it didn't hurt as much as it did. It begins with honesty—before God, before yourself, and sometimes before trusted others—about the depth of your wound.
The Psalms model this raw honesty. David cries out in Psalm 142:1-2, "With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him." Notice he doesn't sanitize his pain or put a spiritual gloss on it—he pours it out honestly before God.
Take time to name specifically what was done to you and how it affected you. Write it down if that helps. Tell God exactly how you feel, including the ugly emotions like rage, hatred, or desire for revenge. God can handle your honesty; what He wants is your heart, not your pretense.
2. Recognize Your Own Need for Forgiveness
This doesn't mean equating what you've done with what was done to you. What you suffered may have been objectively worse, more intentional, or more damaging than anything you've done. But the parable of the unforgiving servant reminds us that even the smaller debt was still a real debt.
We all stand guilty before a holy God, and we all desperately need forgiveness we don't deserve. 1 John 1:8-9 states, "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Spend time reflecting on specific ways God has forgiven you. Not to minimize your pain, but to help you access the supernatural grace needed to forgive others. Remember what you've been forgiven for—not just sin in general, but specific times you failed, hurt others, or rebelled against God.
3. Make a Conscious Decision to Forgive
Forgiveness begins with a decision of the will, not a feeling. You probably won't feel like forgiving—you may never feel like it. But forgiveness is an act of obedience to God's command, empowered by His Spirit, not a warm emotion that spontaneously arises.
This decision might sound like a prayer: "God, I don't feel like forgiving [name], and I don't think they deserve it. But You've commanded me to forgive as I've been forgiven. By Your grace and in obedience to You, I choose right now to release my right to revenge. I choose to forgive [name] for [specific offense]. I can't do this on my own—I need Your Spirit to make this real in my heart."
Be specific about what you're forgiving. Vague forgiveness doesn't work—you need to name the actual offenses you're releasing. This may be painful, but it's necessary for genuine forgiveness.
4. Release Your Right to Revenge
At its core, forgiveness means giving up your right to hurt the person who hurt you. It means releasing them to God's justice rather than taking revenge yourself or endlessly rehearsing their wrongs in your mind.
Romans 12:17-21 provides the blueprint: "Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
This doesn't mean there should be no justice or consequences for wrongdoing. God established government and authorities to uphold justice (Romans 13:1-4). If someone committed a crime against you, reporting it to authorities isn't revenge—it's appropriate accountability. But your personal posture should be one of releasing vengeance to God rather than seeking to destroy the person who hurt you.
5. Choose to Forgive Daily
Forgiveness isn't usually a one-time event but a daily choice, especially for deep wounds. You may wake up tomorrow and feel all the anger and hurt flooding back. This doesn't mean you didn't truly forgive—it means you're human and healing takes time.
When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who sinned against him—suggesting the generous number of seven times—Jesus responded, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matthew 18:22). He wasn't setting a literal quota but indicating that forgiveness should be unlimited and ongoing.
Each time the hurt resurfaces, you may need to pray again: "God, I already chose to forgive this, but the pain is back. I choose again to release this to You. Help me not to pick it back up." Over time, as you consistently refuse to rehearse the offense and choose forgiveness, the emotional intensity will diminish.
6. Refuse to Rehearse the Offense
One of the clearest signs that we're holding onto unforgiveness is that we can't stop replaying what happened in our minds. We rehearse the offense, think of what we should have said, imagine conversations where the person finally understands what they did, or fantasize about them getting what they deserve.
Scripture calls us to a different pattern. Philippians 4:8 instructs, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
When you notice yourself rehearsing the offense, consciously redirect your thoughts. Thank God for specific blessings. Pray for someone you love. Recite Scripture. Engage your mind in something constructive. This isn't denial—you've already acknowledged the hurt honestly. This is choosing not to continually relive it.
7. Pray for the Person Who Hurt You
This may be the hardest step, but it's also one of the most transformative. Jesus commands in Matthew 5:44, "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Praying for someone who hurt you does something profound in your heart that nothing else can accomplish.
Start where you can. You may not be able to pray for their blessing yet, but you can pray for their salvation and spiritual growth. You can pray that they would come to see what they did and repent. You can pray that God would break the cycle of hurt so they don't wound others the way they wounded you.
As you faithfully pray for them over time, you'll likely find your heart softening. It's difficult to maintain bitter hatred toward someone you're genuinely praying for. This doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't mean you'll forget what happened or that the relationship will be restored. But it does mean God's love begins to replace your bitterness.
8. Trust God's Justice and Timing
Perhaps the most difficult aspect of forgiveness is accepting that you may never see earthly justice for what was done to you. The person who hurt you may never apologize, never face consequences, never even acknowledge what they did. They may prosper while you continue to suffer the effects of their actions.
This is where faith becomes essential. Hebrews 10:30-31 reminds us, "For we know him who said, 'Vengeance is mine; I will repay.' And again, 'The Lord will judge his people.' It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." God sees everything. He knows every detail of what was done to you, including things no one else knows. He is perfectly just, and He will settle all accounts.
Either the person who hurt you will repent and receive forgiveness through Christ's death—in which case justice was still served, but on Jesus instead of them. Or they will face God's judgment for every sin they never repented of. Either way, perfect justice will be done. Your job isn't to ensure they get what they deserve—that's God's job. Your job is to obey God's command to forgive and trust Him to handle justice in His way and His timing.
Psalm 37:7-8 encourages, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." Trusting God's justice frees you from the exhausting work of trying to ensure the person gets what's coming to them.
Forgiving Yourself: A Biblical Perspective
Sometimes the person we struggle most to forgive is ourselves. We carry guilt and shame for our failures, mistakes, and sins long after God has forgiven us. We mentally punish ourselves, convinced we don't deserve to move forward or experience joy.
The Danger of Self-Condemnation
Self-condemnation is actually a form of pride—it's believing that your sin is too big for God's grace, that Jesus' sacrifice wasn't sufficient for what you did. Romans 8:1 declares, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." If God doesn't condemn you, what right do you have to condemn yourself?
The enemy loves to keep believers trapped in guilt because it makes us ineffective for God's kingdom. Revelation 12:10 calls Satan "the accuser of our brothers," and one of his favorite tactics is to remind you of forgiven sins, whispering that you're disqualified, damaged goods, beyond redemption.
Accepting God's Complete Forgiveness
When God forgives, He forgives completely. Psalm 103:12 promises, "As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." East and west never meet—they're infinitely distant. That's how far God has removed your forgiven sins from you.
1 John 1:9 assures us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Not most of our unrighteousness—all of it. When you genuinely confess your sin to God, He doesn't partially forgive you or put you on probation. He completely forgives and cleanses you through Christ's blood.
Moving Forward Without Forgetting
Accepting God's forgiveness doesn't mean you'll forget what you did or that there won't be natural consequences for your actions. David was forgiven for his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah, but he still faced consequences, and the memory surely haunted him.
But notice what David does with his failure in Psalm 51. After crying out for forgiveness and cleansing, he prays, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you" (Psalm 51:12-13). David asks God to use even his failure for good—to teach others from what he learned.
Your past failures, once brought under the blood of Christ, can become sources of wisdom, compassion, and ministry to others. But only if you accept God's forgiveness and refuse to live in perpetual self-condemnation. God wants to redeem your story, but you have to let Him.
Powerful Bible Verses on Forgiveness
Scripture speaks extensively about forgiveness, offering encouragement, instruction, and hope for those walking this difficult path. Here are some of the most powerful biblical truths about forgiveness, organized by theme.
God's Forgiveness Toward Us
"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." — Psalm 103:11-12
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." — 1 John 1:9
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace." — Ephesians 1:7
Our Call to Forgive Others
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." — Ephesians 4:32
"bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." — Colossians 3:13
"Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" — Matthew 18:21-22
The Consequences of Unforgiveness
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." — Matthew 6:14-15
"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled." — Hebrews 12:15
Releasing Revenge to God
"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'" — Romans 12:19
"Do not say, 'I will repay evil'; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you." — Proverbs 20:22
Love and Prayer for Those Who Hurt Us
"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven." — Matthew 5:44-45
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them." — Romans 12:14
The Freedom Forgiveness Brings
"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." — Galatians 5:1
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." — Romans 8:1
These verses aren't just beautiful words—they're promises from God about the forgiveness He offers and the forgiveness He calls us to extend. When forgiveness feels impossible, return to these truths and let them anchor your soul in God's character and commands.
When Forgiveness Feels Impossible
What do you do when you've read all the verses, prayed all the prayers, made the decision to forgive, and yet the pain remains overwhelming? What about situations of severe trauma, ongoing abuse, or wounds so deep that forgiveness feels not just difficult but impossible?
First, acknowledge that some wounds are profound enough that they may take years to work through. If you experienced childhood sexual abuse, if someone murdered a family member, if you suffered prolonged domestic violence or spiritual abuse by trusted church leaders—these aren't simple hurts that heal with a single prayer. God understands this.
Second, recognize that forgiveness is often a process, not an event. You may genuinely choose to forgive but still need time to work through layers of pain, anger, grief, and trauma. The decision to forgive begins the process, but the emotional healing may take much longer. This doesn't mean your forgiveness wasn't real—it means you're human and healing is gradual.
Third, don't hesitate to seek help from mature Christian counselors or therapists, especially for serious trauma. God often works healing through the expertise of trained professionals. There's no shame in needing help to process deep wounds—in fact, seeking help demonstrates wisdom and courage.
Fourth, if you're currently in an abusive situation, your first priority is safety, not forgiveness. God doesn't call you to stay in danger to prove you've forgiven. Seek help from trusted church leaders, domestic violence resources, or authorities. You can work on forgiveness from a position of safety.
Finally, remember that God is patient with you in your healing process. He doesn't condemn you for finding forgiveness difficult. Bring your struggle honestly to Him, ask for His supernatural grace, and trust that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion (Philippians 1:6). The fact that you're even attempting to forgive when everything in you resists shows God's Spirit is already at work.
The Freedom That Comes From Forgiving
If you've made it this far, you understand that biblical forgiveness is costly. It goes against our natural instincts, requires supernatural grace, and often demands that we release our legitimate right to justice and revenge. So why would God ask this of us?
Because unforgiveness is a prison, and forgiveness is the key that sets you free. When you refuse to forgive, you chain yourself to the person who hurt you. You may think you're punishing them by holding onto your bitterness, but you're actually punishing yourself. They may have moved on, forgotten the whole thing, or feel no guilt at all—while you're still trapped, replaying the offense, consumed by anger, unable to fully experience joy.
The author Frederick Buechner wrote, "Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you."
Forgiveness breaks this destructive cycle. It doesn't minimize what was done to you or declare that it didn't matter. It doesn't necessarily restore the relationship or mean you'll trust the person again. What it does is free you from the exhausting work of keeping score, plotting revenge, and nurturing bitterness. It allows you to move forward rather than remaining stuck in the past.
More importantly, forgiveness aligns you with God's heart. When you forgive as you've been forgiven, you're imitating Christ, participating in His redemptive work in the world, and demonstrating to others the radical grace of the Gospel. Your forgiveness becomes a testimony to God's power to transform hearts and break cycles of hurt and retaliation.
Here's what forgiveness can look like in practice: You stop obsessively checking the social media of the person who hurt you. You can hear their name mentioned without your stomach clenching. You genuinely pray for their good, even if you never see them again. You stop telling the story of what they did to anyone who will listen. You can think about what happened without being consumed by rage. You experience moments—and eventually longer periods—of peace.
The road to forgiveness is long and difficult, with setbacks and struggles along the way. But it leads to freedom—freedom from bitterness, freedom from the past, freedom to experience God's peace and joy even amid the scars that remain. The person who hurt you may never apologize, never change, never face earthly consequences. But through forgiveness, they no longer have power over your heart.
Jesus offers this invitation to all who are weary and burdened—including those carrying the heavy weight of unforgiveness: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).
Forgiveness is part of Christ's easy yoke and light burden. Not because it's simple or painless, but because He walks it with you, provides the grace you need, and promises that the freedom on the other side is worth the cost of releasing what you've held onto for so long.
Whatever hurt you're carrying today, however impossible forgiveness seems, know that with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). The same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you (Romans 8:11), providing power for what seems impossible. Start where you are. Bring your pain honestly to God. Make the decision to forgive, even if your emotions haven't caught up. Choose forgiveness again tomorrow when the hurt resurfaces. Trust that God is at work, healing your heart and setting you free.
The path of forgiveness is the path of freedom. It's hard, it's costly, and it's absolutely worth it. May God give you the grace to walk it, one difficult step at a time, until you discover the liberating truth that forgiveness isn't ultimately about the person who hurt you—it's about becoming more like Christ and experiencing the abundant life He came to give.