As a pastor, I've seen many couples struggle with pain in their relationships. I believe that happiness is indeed the goal, but suffering can be a necessary part of growth and healing. When we're in pain, it's tempting to try to medicate it or avoid it altogether, but this can prevent us from truly addressing the issues that need to be worked through.
In my experience, pain can be a catalyst for change, especially when we're willing to humble ourselves before God and seek His guidance. It's not about pursuing hardships for their own sake, but about being willing to go through the difficult times in order to emerge stronger and more loving on the other side. I've seen this happen in my own marriage to Susan - we've had our share of struggles over the years, but through prayer, communication, and a willingness to grow together, we've been able to work through our pain and come out stronger on the other side.
Ultimately, the goal is to live a life of love and service to others, not just to avoid pain. When we're willing to put the needs of our partner ahead of our own, and to seek God's guidance in our relationships, we can find a deeper level of joy and fulfillment. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. As the Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Corinthians 13:4-5) When we live this way, we can find healing and restoration in our relationships, even in the midst of pain.