Biblical Answer

The Paradox of Selfishness in Relationships

Selfishness is often viewed as a negative trait, but the Bible presents a unique perspective on this concept. In the context of relationships, selfishness can be a hindrance to loving and serving others. However, it is not entirely absent from Christian living. In fact, the Bible encourages us to consider our own selfishness and take responsibility for it.

The Christian Way of Selfishness

The Bible teaches that when we give ourselves up to love and serve others, it is not selfishness, but rather a demonstration of our commitment to Christ. In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul writes, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." This passage encourages us to put the interests of others before our own, which may seem counterintuitive to our natural inclination towards selfishness.

Fighting Selfishness in Relationships

When we are tempted to fight selfishness in our relationships, it is essential to remember that our part in the fight is to pray, not to take on the responsibility of changing others. God fights the battle, and our role is to trust in His love and sovereignty. In Ephesians 6:12, Paul writes, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." By recognizing that our enemy is not our child or partner, but the devil, we can stand firm in our faith and trust God to work out His plan in our relationships. Ultimately, it is not selfish to prioritize our relationships and love others; it is selfish not to do so. As we seek to live out our faith in relationships, we must remember that our selfishness is not the primary issue, but rather our willingness to trust God and follow His lead.