Biblical Answer

The Erosion of Love

When love turns to dust, it's not because it wasn't genuine in the first place. It's because the natural experience of love has been intensified and turned toxic. The illusion that our one true soul mate will heal everything wrong with us has made the lover into God, and no human can sustain that level of expectation. When we place such high hopes on our partner, we set ourselves up for disappointment. The harsh realities of life, like two independent beings shut up together, will inevitably cause the euphoria of the newlywed to dissipate.

The Fading of Initial Attraction

The initial attraction and love we experience in relationships are natural and normal. However, they can fade over time. When this happens, it's not because the love wasn't real; it's because it was based on attraction rather than a deeper, more abiding love. The kind of love that can sustain a marriage is not subject to fluctuations, but is unchangeable and gratuitous, like God's love for us. It's not founded on the attractiveness of its object, but on a deep commitment and loyalty. When we focus on the attractive qualities of our partner, we're setting ourselves up for disappointment when those qualities fade.

The Need for a Deeper Love

When love turns to dust, it's a sign that we need to cultivate a deeper love that's not based on attraction or expectation. This kind of love is not self-seeking, but selfless. It's not focused on our own needs and desires, but on the needs and well-being of our partner. It's a love that's willing to listen, to forgive, and to work through the tough times. This kind of love is not just a feeling, but a choice we make every day. It's a love that's rooted in a deep commitment to our partner, and to the principles of God's love for us. When we cultivate this kind of love, we'll be better equipped to navigate the challenges of marriage and to build a lifelong relationship that's based on a deep and abiding love. 7 Qas 1:19). Love remembers its own offences and sins and the great forgiveness received, and therefore does not constantly pick at its partners flaws. It is a love that is willing to learn and grow together.