Biblical Answer

The Hurt of Unforgiveness

The Bible teaches that unforgiveness is a poison that can bring death into our lives (Hebrews 12:15). It is a form of bitterness that can lead to anger, which can lead to sin (Ephesians 4:31-32). When we hold onto unforgiveness, it can become a weight that we carry with us, causing us to feel heavy and burdened. This is because unforgiveness is a form of self-justification, where we try to prove our own worth by holding onto our hurt and anger. However, this only leads to a cycle of resentment and bitterness, which can ultimately consume us.

Practicing Forgiveness

So, how do we forgive when it still hurts? The Bible teaches that forgiveness is an act of self-defense, a way of stopping the fatal bleeding of resentment (Matthew 6:14-15). When we forgive, we are not saying that the other person's actions were okay, but rather that we are trusting in God's justice and sovereignty over our lives. Forgiveness is not about justifying the other person's actions, but about making ourselves free from the weight of unforgiveness. As the Bible says, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13).

Seeking God's Help

Forgiveness is not always easy, and it may take practice to perfect it. However, with God's help, we can learn to forgive and release the weight of unforgiveness from our lives. As the Bible says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). When we seek God's help, He is faithful to forgive us and to help us forgive others. We can ask Him to help us forgive, and to give us the strength to let go of our hurt and anger. As we seek God's help, we can learn to forgive and experience the freedom and peace that comes from releasing the weight of unforgiveness from our lives.