Biblical Answer

As a pastor and a husband, I've seen firsthand how love can turn to anger when our expectations are constantly being shattered. It's as if the things that once brought us joy and affection now feel more like afflictions. We may still notice our hearts' desire for the past, but these desires feel like a nagging presence rather than a source of love. I've seen this in myself when I'm not patient and kind, and I lash out at my family. It's a destructive cycle, and one that I'm constantly working to break free from.

But I believe that love is not just a feeling, but a choice. When we choose to love, we're not just loving those who are easy to love, but also those who are difficult to love. This includes our enemies, those who wrong us, and even those who are unlovable. As I reflect on my own life, I realize that I often get angry when I feel that my rights have been violated, when I feel disrespected or unappreciated. But the truth is, my anger is often a result of my own self-seeking desires, and it's contrary to the way God intended us to be.

As I seek to grow in love, I'm learning to ask myself, "What do I love?" rather than "What rights of mine have been violated?" I'm learning to let go of my need for control, my need for power, and my need to be right. I'm learning to respond with kindness, gentleness, and compassion, even when I'm hurt or wronged. And I'm learning to remember that love is not just a feeling, but a choice, a choice to love others as God loves us.