As a pastor, I've seen many instances where love can turn to anger when individuals feel unheard. When we're not listened to, our feelings and concerns are dismissed, and we're left feeling unvalued and unimportant. This can lead to a buildup of resentment and anger, which can manifest in various ways, including verbal abuse, passive-aggressive behavior, or even physical violence. It's essential to recognize that anger is often a symptom of a deeper issue, such as a lack of communication, emotional unavailability, or unmet needs.
In our own marriage, my wife Susan and I have experienced times when we felt unheard and unvalued. We've learned that when we take the time to listen to each other, to understand each other's perspectives, and to validate each other's emotions, we can prevent anger from building up. It's not always easy, but it's a crucial part of maintaining a healthy and loving relationship. As the Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
As a father, I've also seen how anger can arise when my children feel unheard. My 17-year-old son Joshua and 14-year-old daughter Rebecca have both experienced times when they felt like their voices weren't being heard, and it led to frustration and anger. But when we take the time to listen to them, to understand their perspectives, and to validate their emotions, we can prevent anger from building up. It's a valuable lesson for all of us, as individuals and as a family, to learn how to communicate effectively, to listen actively, and to show love and empathy towards one another.