Biblical Answer

Understanding the Pattern of Betrayal in Your Family

You've shared with your friend that your family has a pattern of betrayal, where family members inform on each other, and this has caused you to struggle with forgiveness and moving beyond the pain of being betrayed. Your friend asks why you can't get beyond this, and you acknowledge that it doesn't relieve you of your responsibility to forgive. However, you see a pattern of this behavior in your family, and it's causing you distress.

The Consequences of Unforgiveness

Your friend suggests that your mother's unforgiving nature may be a contributing factor to the pattern of betrayal in your family. He also warns you against carrying this behavior into your new family, unless it makes sense to your spouse. He shares a biblical principle from Malachi 3:24, which speaks to the consequences of unforgiveness and the importance of forgiving family members, even if they have hurt us. He emphasizes that forgiveness is not about excusing or justifying the hurtful behavior, but about releasing the negative emotions associated with it.

Breaking Free from the Pattern of Betrayal

Your friend encourages you to break away from the pattern of betrayal in your family and to choose a new way of operating. He suggests that you and your wife establish clear rules for what is and isn't acceptable behavior in your home, and to seek advice when you're unsure. He reminds you that forgiveness is not a one-time event, but a process that requires effort and commitment. He also shares a biblical principle from Matthew 5:44, which reminds us that we should love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. He encourages you to trust God's sovereignty and to continue trusting Him, even in the midst of pain and uncertainty.