Biblical Answer

The Difficulty of Forgiveness

The question of whether one is a bad person for not being able to forgive is a complex one. On the surface, it may seem that refusing to forgive is a moral failing, but the Bible teaches us that forgiveness is not always easy. In fact, Jesus warns that it will be difficult, if not impossible, to forgive if we remain superior and disdainful of the person who wronged us (Matthew 7:12). This suggests that our ability to forgive is tied to our ability to see ourselves as equally guilty before God.

The Connection between Forgiveness and Being Forgiven

The Bible teaches that there is a connection between our forgiving and being forgiven. However, this connection is not a prior condition, but rather a consequence of our relationship with God. As children of God, we are called to live out our forgiveness in practical ways, such as being kind to those who have wronged us (Matthew 7:12). But this is not a one-way street. We are also called to seek forgiveness from God when we have wronged others, and to ask for forgiveness from those we have wronged (Matthew 5:23-24). This humility and willingness to seek forgiveness is essential for our growth as believers.

The Nature of God's Forgiveness

God's forgiveness is not cheap or automatic. It requires humility and a willingness to confess our sins before Him. As long as we remain impenitent, refusing to confess our sins, God will not forgive us (1 John 1:9). But when we do confess our sins and seek forgiveness, God's forgiveness covers both guilt and shame. This is the hope that Scripture offers for those who are struggling with pain and difficulty in their relationships with others. By seeking forgiveness and forgiving others, we can experience the freedom and joy that comes from living as God's children. (See Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 6:37-38)