Biblical Answer

The Heart of Anger

Anger says, You have done wrong. It is making some kind of judgment, and the judgment is often accurate. Anger might be a response to injustice, a reaction to pain, or a protest against something that is not right. When we feel anger, we are usually aware of what we are angry about. We know what has triggered our anger, even if we do not know what to do with it. Therefore, the first step in handling anger is to understand what is causing it. Look at yourself earlier, longer, and harder than you do other people. This is hard any time, but anger makes it even more difficult because there really may have been an injustice. With anger, finger-pointing is easy, but understanding is harder. What you can see about anger is that someone did wrong and you are angry. What you don't see is what is really going on inside you. You need to take a closer look at your own heart to understand why you are angry.

Dealing with Anger in Children

When dealing with anger in children, it is essential to model healthy anger management. Talk together with your spouse about specific ways you will consistently deal with this child's anger. Be sure, Mom and Dad, that you are filled with and under the control of the Spirit when you step in to correct your child's anger. Moreover, venting one's anger is often like ventilating a fire that will do further damage. Anger should not be suppressed (repeatedly stuffing our emotions so that we are seething beneath the surface). Nor should it be expressed in a way that harms others. Instead, teach your child to express anger in a healthy way, such as talking about it, drawing a picture, or engaging in a physical activity. You can also model healthy anger expression by asking God to temper your anger with patience and love.

Prayer and Anger

Prayer is a powerful tool in dealing with anger. When we pray, our heart is revealed, and we can ask God to help us understand and manage our anger. If you can meditate on the Lord's Prayer (Matt. 6:9-13) and make it your own, it is evidence that you are putting up a good fight against lingering anger. Prayer helps us to see that anger is ultimately about God, not about the person who triggered it. Anger shows that we don't trust Him, and it becomes an opportunity to know Him better. What you come to understand will surprise you. So, take time to pray, and ask God to help you understand and manage your anger. With His help, you can learn to handle anger in a way that honors Him and builds strong relationships.

I. The Heart of Anger

A. Anger is a response to injustice, pain, or something that is not right.

B. Anger is often triggered by a perceived wrong.

C. Understanding anger requires looking at oneself earlier, longer, and harder than others.

II. Dealing with Anger in Children

A. Model healthy anger management.

B. Talk with your spouse about how to deal with your child's anger.

C. Be filled with and under the control of the Spirit when correcting your child's anger.

D. Teach your child to express anger in a healthy way.

III. Prayer and Anger

A. Prayer reveals the heart and helps to understand anger.

B. The Lord's Prayer (Matt. 6:9-13) can be a helpful guide for prayer.

C. Prayer can help us see that anger is ultimately about God.

D. Prayer can help us trust God and manage our anger.