Biblical Answer

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Your Question:

can i still be a good partner when i'm struggling with my own pain?

Answer:

As a pastor, I've seen many couples struggle with their relationships, especially when one or both partners are dealing with their own pain. It's easy to get caught up in our own suffering and feel like it's insurmountable, but that's where the problem lies. When we focus solely on our own pain, we can become isolated and withdrawn, expecting our partner to somehow magically know how to fix us.

But that's not how relationships work. A good partner doesn't try to avoid their own pain, nor do they expect their partner to be their sole source of comfort. Instead, they learn to navigate their own struggles while still being present for their partner. This doesn't mean ignoring the pain or trying to medicate it away; it means facing it head-on, with the support of loved ones and a deep trust in God's love and redemption.

In my own marriage to Susan, we've had our fair share of struggles, but we've learned to face them together, as a team. When I'm struggling with my own pain, I try to be more patient, kind, and understanding towards her. I remind myself that she's not responsible for my pain, and that I need to work through it on my own, with God's help. By doing so, I'm able to be a better partner to her, even when I'm struggling. And that's when the real healing begins.

Sources:

depression
edward welch
meaning of marriage
timothy keller
practicing the way
john mark comer
power of a praying wife
stormie omartian

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