Biblical Answer

What fuels our passion when love feels like a distant memory?

In the context of marriage, passion and affection can wane over time, leaving couples to wonder what fuels their passion. The Bible reminds us that real love is the engine on which lifelong marriages are run (Ephesians 5:25-33). This type of love is not based on external circumstances, but rather on a deep-seated desire to love and be loved by one another. When we are at the height of passion, we instinctively know that the other person, if they are in love with us, will want to hear those words of affection (Song of Solomon 8:6-7). However, as time passes and the initial emotional explosion dies down, we must make a conscious effort to cultivate and fan into flame the existing desires that meet the deepest human needs.

One way to fuel our passion is to prioritize intimacy and connection with our spouse. This can be done by creating opportunities for focused attention, such as planning walks, sitting by the fireplace, or going on scenic drives. Even simple acts of service, such as cooking a meal together, can help to deepen our connection and reignite our passion. Furthermore, we must remember that passion is not just about physical attraction, but also about emotional and spiritual connection. As the Bible says, "Love is a heart that moves... Love moves away from the self and toward the other" (Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III). When we prioritize our relationship with God and with our spouse, we become more loving and more passionate.

Ultimately, fueling our passion requires a willingness to cultivate and practice love in our daily lives. This means being aware of our own habits and making a conscious effort to practice them without realizing it. It means being patient and kind, even when our spouse is not meeting our expectations. It means being willing to forgive and to seek forgiveness. As the Bible says, "Love means that there are no visible habits... that you practice them without realizing it" (Blair). By prioritizing our relationship with God and with our spouse, and by cultivating love in our daily lives, we can fuel our passion and reignite the flame of love in our marriage.