As a pastor and a husband, I've seen firsthand the devastating effects of broken trust in relationships. When we've been hurt deeply, it's natural to feel like we can't confront and forgive, and instead, we may hide our resentment and affirm our loved ones without being open about our true feelings. This can lead to a toxic dynamic where love is sacrificed for the sake of truth, and we end up feeling like we're just going through the motions.
However, I believe that forgiveness is a crucial step in healing and rebuilding trust. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting what happened, but rather, it means not holding someone's sin against them. As the Bible says, "Love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). When we choose to forgive, we're not condoning or excusing the hurtful behavior, but rather, we're releasing the negative emotions associated with it. This allows us to break free from the cycle of resentment and bitterness that can consume us.
In my own marriage, I've had to navigate the complexities of forgiveness and trust. My wife, Susan, and I have been married for 19 years, and we've had our fair share of ups and downs. But through it all, we've learned to communicate openly and honestly with each other, and to prioritize forgiveness and trust in our relationship. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. As I always say to my congregation, "Love is not just a feeling, but a choice we make every day." By choosing to love and forgive, we can build stronger, more resilient relationships that are founded on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.