Biblical Answer

The Fear of Vulnerability and the Desire for Real Love

In our pursuit of love, we often struggle with the fear of vulnerability. We may feel that opening ourselves up to another person will leave us exposed and hurt. However, it is only through this vulnerability that we can truly experience the depths of love. As the Bible says, "Love moves away from the self and toward the other" (Allender and Longman III). This means that real love requires us to move beyond our own desires and interests and to focus on the needs and feelings of the other person. It is a selfless love that is not driven by a desire for personal satisfaction, but rather by a desire to give and to serve.

The desire for real love is what fuels our passion. When we are truly in love, we are motivated to act, not just to feel. We are motivated to make sacrifices, to put the needs of the other person before our own, and to build a life together that is based on mutual respect, trust, and commitment. As the Bible says, "It is only when I am truly hungry that I fully appreciate a good meal" (Allender and Longman III). In other words, it is only when we are truly in need of love that we can truly appreciate its beauty and value. Real love is not just a feeling, but a choice that we make every day to put the needs of the other person before our own.

The key to experiencing real love is to let God love us into people of love. As Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III say, "We become more loving by experiencing love, not by hearing about it in a lecture or reading about it in a book" (Allender and Longman III). This means that we need to be willing to take risks, to be vulnerable, and to trust in the goodness of God's plan for our lives. When we do, we will find that our passion for love grows, and that we are able to experience the depths of real love that God has designed for us. As the Bible says, "Real love, the Bible says, instinctively desires the well-being of the other person" (Allender and Longman III). This is the kind of love that will fuel our passion and sustain us for a lifetime.