Biblical Answer

Forgiveness: A Biblical Perspective

Forgiveness is a choice we make, not a feeling we experience. As the Bible instructs, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained a brother. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector" (Matthew 18:15-17). This passage emphasizes the importance of confronting the person who has wronged us and seeking resolution. However, if the person refuses to listen, we are not to harbor unforgiveness.

The Bible teaches that unforgiveness leads to spiritual death. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." This passage makes it clear that unforgiveness is a barrier to our relationship with God. When we choose to forgive others, we are choosing to have a healthy relationship with God. The Bible also teaches that forgiveness is not based on feelings, but on our choice to forgive. In Colossians 3:13, we are instructed to "bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." This passage emphasizes the importance of choosing to forgive, even when it doesn't feel good.

So, how can you forgive your family member for betraying you? First, pray for them. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive and to help you understand their actions. Second, choose to forgive them, even if it doesn't feel good. Remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Third, seek to understand their actions and seek resolution. This may involve talking to them and seeking to understand their perspective. Finally, remember that forgiveness doesn't justify the other person's actions, but it makes them free. When we choose to forgive, we are choosing to have a healthy relationship with God and with others. Forgiveness is a process, and it may take time, but it is worth it.