Biblical Answer

The Pain of Loss and Heartache

You may be asking, "Why did I have to go through so much loss and heartache for so little gain?" This question reveals a deeper struggle, one that is rooted in the human heart. Our hearts are under assault, and it could be that we are losing. Primarily through neglect. Nobody ever told us to keep a close check on our hearts. We have developed habits that slowly erode our hearts' sensitivity. The inevitable pain and disappointment of life have caused us to set up walls around our heart.

The Root of the Problem

The root of the problem is not the loss or heartache itself, but rather our mixed motives. Perhaps we wanted to change the other person or make life easier for ourselves more than we wanted to love because Christ has loved us. We have developed a habit of seeing more as the solution to our depression, when in reality, our appetite for more is never fully satisfied. This is because our hearts are restless until they find their rest in God. We are made for Him, and our hearts are designed to crave His presence. However, when we try to fill the void with more, we only end up feeling emptier.

Finding True Life

The path to true life is not through accumulating more, but through growing in the knowledge of God's love and our own sin. We must develop new habits, ones that will help us to shrink our appetite for more and instead crave God's presence. This requires a willingness to take a painful look in the mirror and confront our own heart damage. We must recognize that our worth and identity are not found in our accomplishments or possessions, but in our relationship with God. By surrendering our lives to Him and trusting in His goodness, we can find true life, even in the midst of loss and heartache. As the apostle Paul wrote, "I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" (Philippians 3:8).