Biblical Answer

When your children grow up and you're not there, what happens to them is not necessarily a reflection of your parenting. Your children may not attain or surpass your own achievements, and that's okay. You are not responsible for their lives or their choices. Your role as a parent is to parent them towards healthy independence, not to dictate their every move or decision. This means allowing them to make mistakes, to learn from them, and to become their own people.

As your children grow up, they will individuate and become their own individuals. They may drop out of church or not return for years, or they may go to college or get a job. You may not agree with their choices or values, but that's not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to be a parent, not a dictator or a control freak. You need to stay in your lane and let your children be free to be themselves. This means not trying to impose your values or opinions on them, but rather allowing them to develop their own sense of self and purpose.

Ultimately, what happens to your children when you're not there is not up to you. It's up to God, and it's up to your children themselves. You can pray for them, trust in God's sovereignty, and live a life that reflects Christian values and teachings. But you can't control their choices or outcomes. What you can control is how you parent them while they're still under your care. Parent them with love, patience, and understanding, and trust that God is working in their lives, even when you're not there. This means being a good example, sharing your struggles and faith with them, and trusting God through the situations, even when they're difficult. By doing so, you'll be giving your children the best possible chance of growing up to be healthy, happy, and spiritually mature individuals.