Biblical Answer

Can love be a choice when it's hard?

The Nature of Love

We are capable of love, just as we are capable of cruelty. Our circumstances, genetics, and deep pasts are certainly factors in our decisions. However, the Bible suggests that love is not just a feeling, but a choice. According to C. S. Lewis, love is not a feeling, but a decision, a commitment to act lovingly towards others. This view is supported by the Bible, which emphasizes the importance of acting lovingly, rather than just feeling love.

The Challenge of Choosing Love

When it comes to choosing love, it can be hard. We often prefer to experience love in its more hedonistic, self-serving forms. However, the Bible teaches that love must be a choice, even when it's hard. This is because love is not just a feeling, but a decision to act in the best interest of others, even when it's difficult. As Jimi Jamison of the group Survivor noted, romantic love can be fleeting and unreliable, but love that is a choice can endure even in the face of hardship.

The Power of Volitional Love

The concept of volitional love is central to the Bible's understanding of love. Volitional love is characterized by a consistently loving attitude, which is demonstrated through our actions. This means that love is not just a feeling, but a choice to act in a way that is loving and selfless. The Bible teaches that love must make a choice when the best interest of others or ourselves and God come into conflict. This is where tough love comes in, which means not making it easy for others to continue in a destructive relationship, while still showing them grace and compassion. Ultimately, the Bible teaches that love is a choice, and that this choice can be made even when it's hard. As the Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)