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Your Question:

why god lets me suffer so much?

Answer:

The question of why God allows suffering is a complex and difficult one. Some people may assume that God doesn't love us because He lets us suffer, but this is not the case. God does love us and He meets us in our suffering, promising to bring us through it. Jesus Himself suffered greatly, but He did so because He loves us so much. He is the end, not a means to an end, and He is not just a way to get a better life, but the end itself. Our suffering can be a means of growing in our relationship with God, and it can be a way for us to turn to Him and trust Him with the mysteries of suffering.

It is also important to recognize that God's reasons for allowing suffering are not always apparent to us. We may not be able to understand why He allows certain things to happen, but this does not mean that He is not loving or that He is not in control. In fact, God is over all things, and nothing happens apart from His knowledge and will. He permits suffering that we would not permit if we were in charge of the universe, and this is not because He is cruel or capricious, but because He is sovereign and knows what is best for us.

Ultimately, our suffering can be an opportunity for us to grow in our faith and to deepen our relationship with God. It can be a chance for us to trust Him, even when we don't understand what is happening, and to find comfort in His presence. As C.S. Lewis said, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." Our suffering can be a means of drawing us closer to God, and it can be a way for us to experience His love and care for us, even in the midst of hardship and difficulty.

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