Biblical Answer

When we are not in control, it can be a challenging and unsettling experience. This is because we often view self-control as a sign of strength and power, rather than a gift from God. However, when we recognize that self-control is not something we can achieve on our own, but rather a result of relying on God's grace, we can begin to see it as a blessing rather than a burden. This perspective shift allows us to approach self-control with a sense of humility and dependence on God, rather than trying to control everything through our own willpower.

In this context, self-control is not about trying to control our impulses and emotions, but rather about allowing God to have control over our lives. This means setting boundaries and prioritizing our relationship with God, rather than trying to do everything in our own power. When we choose to give Jesus free rein over our lives, we can experience a new level of joy and freedom that is not based on our own efforts, but rather on God's sovereignty. As John Ortberg notes, "If you can give up food, desserts, computer games, or other activities important to you, this is not a way to punish yourself for what you have done, but rather a way to have more practice at self-control."

Ultimately, self-control is not about achieving a certain level of discipline or obedience, but rather about living in a way that reflects our dependence on God. When we recognize that we are not in control, we can begin to see self-control as a gift that allows us to live within boundaries and prioritize our relationship with God. This perspective shift can bring us a sense of freedom and joy that is not based on our own efforts, but rather on God's sovereignty. By relying on God's grace and allowing Him to have control over our lives, we can experience a new level of self-control that is not based on our own willpower, but rather on our dependence on God.