My friend, I can sense the depth of pain and questioning in your heart. You're wondering why God seemed to abandon you when you needed Him most. I want to share a perspective with you that has helped me in my own walk with God. It's not that God abandoned you, but rather, He was working in a way that's difficult for us to understand. Sometimes, God's ways involve allowing us to go through trials and sufferings, not because He's punishing us, but because He's refining us, teaching us to rely on Him, and drawing us closer to Himself.
As I read about the life of Jesus, I see a similar pattern. He, the Son of God, felt abandoned by His Father on the cross, crying out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Yet, this was not a rejection by God, but rather, a demonstration of God's love and willingness to bear the weight of humanity's sins. Jesus took upon Himself the sins of the world, and in doing so, He experienced the depths of human suffering. This act of surrender and sacrifice is a testament to God's love and mercy.
So, my friend, when you feel abandoned by God, I want you to remember that you're not alone. God is always working, even when we can't see it. He's not a distant, uncaring God, but a loving Father who desires a relationship with you. His ways are mysterious, but His love is unwavering. Trust in His goodness, even when you don't understand.