My son Joshua, he's 17 now, and I've seen him struggle with this same question. He's a tough kid, but he's also a sensitive soul, and when he gets hurt, he gets hurt bad. I've told him that fighting is not just about winning or losing, it's about getting back up after you've been knocked down. It's about learning from your mistakes and becoming stronger because of them. When you're in a fight, whether it's with someone else or with your own desires, you have to be willing to get hurt in order to grow.
As a pastor, I've seen people struggle with this same issue. They get hurt, and instead of facing their pain and working through it, they give up. They surrender to their emotions and let them control them. But that's not what God wants for us. He wants us to be strong, to be brave, to face our fears and our weaknesses head-on. When we do that, we can overcome anything that comes our way. We can rise above our struggles and come out stronger on the other side.
I remember when I was younger, I used to get into fights with my friends all the time. I thought that winning was everything, but my wife Susan, she taught me that it's not about winning or losing, it's about how you respond to the situation. She said that when you're in a fight, you have to be willing to listen, to understand the other person's perspective, and to find a way to resolve the conflict peacefully. That's what it means to be a Christian, to be a follower of Jesus. It's not about being aggressive or violent, it's about being strong, but gentle, and loving.