Biblical Answer

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Your Question:

Can I ever forgive myself for not seeing this coming?

Answer:

The weight of self-doubt can be crushing, can't it? I've seen it in my own life, and I've seen it in the lives of those I've counseled. It's as if we're stuck in a cycle of unforgiveness, replaying the same hurtful moments over and over in our minds. But the truth is, forgiveness is not just about forgiving others; it's also about forgiving ourselves. As the psalmist says, "If I, an Old Testament psalmist who has not seen the coming of Jesus, can speak with this kind of hope, how much more can you, who have witnessed the cross—the unmistakable evidence of forgiveness of sins?"

It's hard to forgive ourselves because we often feel like we've failed, like we've let ourselves or others down. But the truth is, we are not defined by our mistakes. We are defined by our relationship with God, who loves us unconditionally and forgives us completely. As I've learned in my own journey, forgiveness is not about forgetting or excusing our mistakes, but about releasing the hold they have on us. It's about choosing to let go of the anger and resentment that can consume us, and instead, choosing to trust in God's goodness and provision.

As a pastor, I've seen many people struggle with unforgiveness, including myself. But I've also seen the freedom that comes when we choose to forgive, not just others, but ourselves. It's a process, to be sure, but it's one that's worth it. As the psalmist says, "You might feel like you are doing very well to repeat the words of forgiveness, but the more you think about it, the more you will remember seeing that trait manifest seriously in other family members as well." It's a pattern we can break, a cycle we can interrupt, and a new path we can choose. And that path is one of forgiveness, not just for others, but for ourselves.

Sources:

depression
edward welch
meaning of marriage
timothy keller
power of a praying parent
stormie omartian
addictions a banquet in the grave
edward t welch
introduction biblical ethics
robertson mcquilkin
mere christianity
c s lewis
jesus on trial
david limbaugh

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